Research Interview Series, Question One: When Power Waits
On intimacy, leadership, and the kind of man who knows when to wait
By Sir Christopher
In response to a character research question posed by Nicole Littlejohn
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As part of her ongoing character research and development process, Nicole Littlejohn asked me a question about a man who understands dominance, intimacy, and restraint.
The question was specific, situational, and human.
A Dominant is reconnecting with a woman he genuinely likes. They have never had sex. After a beautiful date, she kisses him and asks him to make love to her. There has been no prior agreement, no negotiation, no discussion of roles or dynamics. When he tries to slow the moment and ask what she wants, she explains that she has not had sex in four years. She does not want to talk. She just wants to feel loved. Held. Close. She asks for regular (vanilla) sex and trusts herself to speak up if something feels wrong.
Nicole’s question to me was simple and direct.
What would he do next?
What follows is my answer.
He does not step into a BDSM dynamic in that moment, but he does not turn her away.
He meets her as a man first, not as a Dominant.
If what she is asking for is closeness, tenderness, and to be held after years without touch, he can offer that fully and passionately, without invoking power, protocol, or hierarchy. He lets intimacy be human rather than structured. He stays attuned, slow, and responsive. He allows her nervous system to lead.
That choice matters, especially for the kind of character Nicole is building. This is not a man unfamiliar with intensity or power. He understands desire. He understands dominance. But he also understands that vulnerability is not an invitation to hierarchy.
I answer this way because I recognize this man. I know what it is to reconnect after distance, to rebuild trust where time and strain have intervened, and to choose presence before desire. In my own life, restraint created safety, and safety made what followed deeper rather than diminished. That lived experience shapes why my answer is what it is.
This is not restraint born of fear or uncertainty. It is restraint born of confidence and self-knowledge.
A grounded man does not need to claim power in every moment it is available. He understands that submission carries longings that deserve clarity, consent, and timing. Those cravings can wait. They deserve more than an impulsive beginning.
This answer also reveals something essential about the character Nicole is developing.
He is not compelling because he dominates reflexively. He is compelling because he chooses correctly when it would be easier not to. His strength shows up most clearly in moments where he could take more, but does not.
I agreed to participate in this project because I respect the care Nicole brings to her characters and her refusal to flatten complex dynamics into fantasy alone. The questions she is asking are the same ones I believe matter when writing about men who lead, love, and choose with intention rather than impulse.
Later, when power does enter the relationship, it will not feel rushed or opportunistic. It will feel earned. The reader will understand that dominance, when it arrives, is chosen rather than assumed.
In future entries, we will continue exploring how this man’s history informs his boundaries, how desire evolves once trust is established, and what happens when intimacy and dominance finally meet with intention rather than urgency.
This is not a story about domination first.
It is a story about discernment.
About This Series
This ongoing series documents character research and development conversations conducted in collaboration with published author Nicole Littlejohn. Each entry explores questions of intimacy, power, restraint, and leadership as they inform the construction of complex, grounded characters.
For professional inquiries, interviews, or research conversations related to this series, I can be reached at: