Part 2: Who Is Sir Christopher? A conversation with Nicole Littlejohn
Part 2: Who Is Sir Christopher?
A conversation with Nicole Littlejohn
This blog series exists for a simple reason: most conversations about power exchange, sex work, and alternative relationship structures start in the wrong place.
They begin with assumptions. With judgment. With spectacle. With questions that are often accusations in disguise.
Nicole Littlejohn’s work approaches this terrain differently. She is currently researching background material to create the main character for her novel, a character who is also a Dominant. Rather than relying on trope or fantasy, her process is grounded in lived experience, ethical complexity, and the realities of how people actually organize their lives around power, intimacy, responsibility, and time.
This series is part of that research.
I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to collaborate with Littlejohn and to share my story, along with the theories and practices that have shaped my life. These conversations are generous, careful, and rooted in nuance, and I don’t take that lightly.
This series is not about presenting an idealized figure or defending a lifestyle. It is about context. About slowing the conversation down enough to see how dominance, family life, labor, aging, parenting, and choice intersect in real time, inside an actual life.
You don’t need to share my values, my work, or my relationship structures to engage with this series — only a willingness to read with curiosity rather than assumption.
Before you can understand the shape of the work I’m doing now, you need to understand where it came from, what it replaced, and what it is meant to protect.
What follows are five questions Nicole asked that widen the frame instead of narrowing it. They are not sensational questions. They are structural ones.
Question 1: How do you balance sex work and family life as a man?
I don’t really see it as a balance yet. Family comes first, and until someone actually hires me, the work is mostly theoretical.
This is a very recent decision, made only days after my daughter’s birth in November while I was on paternity leave from my remodeling contractor business. The intent is to be able to spend more quality time at home than I have in my contracting career, which feels even more important now that I’m fifty with a toddler and an infant.
What I’m doing now is setting clear boundaries, structure, and values in advance so that when it becomes real, it’s contained, intentional, and doesn’t bleed into family life. My wife has been incredibly supportive of this decision and even helped build much of my website structure and write bios for escort services. That alignment at home matters more than anything else.
Question 2: How did you get into escort and sex work?
I didn’t “get into” it in the way people usually imagine, but the break from my past work was dramatic. After years in a physically demanding remodeling contractor career, stepping away during paternity leave created space for a real reckoning with how I wanted to spend my time and energy.
This was not a sudden interest or an impulsive pivot. I have nearly thirty years in the lifestyle through my personal relationships, and it is something I have studied and integrated into my own life for decades. With over ten years of experience as a BDSM forum moderator, teaching others a lifestyle that has been pivotal for me felt like a natural extension rather than a leap.
At fifty, with a toddler and an infant, the long hours and physical strain of construction no longer aligned with the kind of presence I wanted at home. What changed was formalizing work I was already doing and deciding that if I was going to offer it professionally, it would be done transparently, ethically, and with clear boundaries.
I didn’t enter this work by abandoning who I was. I entered it by claiming something I had lived, studied, and taught for years.
Question 3: Do you like being paid for sex, or is it a means to an end?
Sex is not included in the service I provide. What I offer is an embodied D/s scene, clearly negotiated and intentionally structured. The exchange is about power, presence, and experience, not sexual access.
That said, it would be dishonest to pretend the work is disconnected from pleasure. Many people will experience orgasm or euphoric and even transformative sensation. Those outcomes are a byproduct of deep embodiment and intentional power exchange, not the product being sold.
Payment creates containment. It clarifies expectations, boundaries, time, and responsibility. In my contracting career, I was compensated well for the quality of my craftsmanship. I bring that same standard into my work as Sir Christopher. Skill, preparation, and accountability deserve appropriate compensation.
Question 4: How did you meet your wife?
We met online, in a group for polyamorous dating, and chatted for a while before meeting in person. At the time, she was twenty-three and I was forty-six, and I genuinely worried the age gap might make conversation awkward.
That concern vanished immediately.
Our first date was dinner at a Himalayan restaurant in Evergreen. The conversation went deep almost instantly, and what stands out most was the intense eye contact. It felt like we had known each other in past lives, as if the connection had been waiting for us to notice it. We barely looked away from each other, completely absorbed, until the staff gently told us they had been closed for over an hour.
Our second date was on Independence Day. We rented an Airbnb for the long weekend and stayed in. We did not engage in kink or any BDSM scene. We had not yet discussed her history or experience in the lifestyle, and we had not taken the time needed to negotiate a scene properly. That mattered to me.
Instead, we had beautiful, deeply connected vanilla sex and spent the weekend exploring each other with curiosity and care. We talked, laughed, rested, and shared our journeys, our growth, and our goals for life. Much of that time was spent in a hot tub under the stars, with a fire nearby, talking for hours. There may have been a small amount of hallucinogens involved, but what stood out wasn’t altered states. It was presence.
Intimacy didn’t arrive slowly. It arrived naturally, with clarity and mutual enthusiasm, inside the same framework of honesty and consent that defined everything else.
Over time, connection became partnership, and partnership became collaboration. That foundation is why later choices have been navigated through conversation rather than secrecy.
Question 5: Do you have other children?
Yes. I have two adult sons. They are both married, and I have two grandchildren.
I became a father very young. My first child was on the way when I was sixteen, and my first wife was twenty-one. That marriage lasted eleven months. We were married and divorced in the same year, with our second son on the way.
I later joined the military. After five years of service, reconnecting with my children was complicated by conflict with my ex, and the result was that I missed much of their childhood. That absence is part of my story.
Later, I raised my second wife’s son for sixteen years and was the only father he knew until he was older. That experience shaped how I understand commitment and presence.
Having children when I was younger was unintended and rooted in survival. This chapter of fatherhood is conscious, deliberate, and deeply chosen.
Closing
This series is not about normalizing or sensationalizing anything. It is about accuracy.
Power exchange and sex work do not exist in isolation. They exist inside families, histories, bodies, and time. If those layers are ignored, the picture is incomplete.
I’m thankful for Nicole’s curiosity and care, and for the opportunity to share this work honestly.
Part 3 will move further into structure, ethics, and responsibility, and how those concepts change when fantasy meets real-world consequence.
If you have thoughtful questions about this series, you can reach me at:
You can follow Nicole Littlejohn’s writing and ongoing research on Substack here:
https://nicolelittlejohn.substack.com
This conversation continues.